Out in front

It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I don’t much care for being in front of the camera. If I am going to be completely candid…it’s because I am not a big fan of my body. Pre-baby I was frequently self-conscious about my figure. Post baby the feeling of self-loathing has reached an all-time high. I am definitely not one of those lucky ladies who easily morphed back into her size 2’s (or 4’s or even 6’s!) 3 months after giving birth. 10 months later, no amount of exercise (or at least the amount of exercise that I can possibly squeeze into my chaotic, overwhelming, “I-have-a-10-month-old-and-a business” schedule allows) seems to be budging my last 8 pounds of baby weight. And, again, being completely honest, I’m not much of a dieter. I love food and no amount of self-loathing prevents me from going out to eat, sharing a plate of nachos or some pizza with Mike or indulging in an ice-cream cone once or twice a week. I’m writing these words today because I’m pretty sure a lot of new mothers share my sentiments. And for a lot of them, it might prevent them from posing for photos with their families. When my friend, neighbor and fellow photographer, Brad, suggested a photo swap, I wasn’t sure I was game. I knew I would pick myself apart in every photo. But in the end, I had a realization. Despite my lack of confidence in my post-partum figure…despite my day-to-day anxiety about scheduling, raising a daughter and balancing everything in our hectic lives…I love my here and now. This time in our life is amazing and I wanted to capture it. I also wanted to send a message of confidence to my daughter. I hope someday she will look at these photos and only see how happy I was with her and her dad, and maybe, just maybe, she herself will embrace that example and avoid the body-conscious feelings that have plagued me.

Brad…thank you so much for these moments. They are beautiful and we will treasure them for years to come!