Enough

Life is moving fast these days. After years of wondering what our next step in life should be…worrying about it, dreaming about it…Mike and I find ourselves suddenly living it. Baby Mae is already 3 months old, Eloise will turn 4 (4!) next month, and we are less than 2 weeks away from moving into a wonderful new house. We fought hard to get here, and to be honest, most days pass in a blur. We are exhausted and overwhelmed by the pace of everything happening at once. Forget treading water…our heads have dipped under. It is so easy to feel crushed by it all. Dizzy thinking about everything on my to-do list that didn’t get accomplished. Down about the baby weight that’s hanging on tight. Guilty about the copious amounts of TV Ellie has been watching lately. There’s just not enough time. My best effort is not good enough. I’m just not enough.

To stay sane, we keep reminding ourselves that we can handle this. That there are things in life to stress and cry about. Real things. Things that aren’t in our control. Buying and selling, packing and moving…those things are a lot of work, and not fun…but we can handle it. One day at a time, a few boxes at a time, check, check, check.  It’s one of those Fridays when we need to take a deep breath and realize how lucky we are at this moment in time, despite the swirling craziness. The perfect time to count our blessings.

*SLEEP!  From her first night home from the hospital, Eloise slept in her crib in the nursery. This time around with Mae, we are too nervous for her to even be down the hall from us at night. She was sleeping in her crib in our room…but while she was sick a month ago, she slept in the Rock and Play to stay slightly elevated to help her breathe. Then she got used to sleeping in the Rock and Play, that wonderful and evil piece of baby equipment. It took a week of very long nights, filled with a lot of crying (both the baby and me!), up and down, and walking around, but Mae’s back to sleeping in her crib…and sleeping longer stretches. 11PM-4AM feels like a full night’s sleep! We are far from well-rested, but suddenly there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

*Packing up. Although it’s daunting, and I haven’t been able to pack more than a few boxes a day, the a-retentive side of me is loving the task at hand. All the organizing and boxing up is good for my soul.

*Polygon Sushi! Go figure, we are two weeks away from moving out of our neighborhood, and we just discovered the best takeout sushi we have had yet. The maki was fresh and interesting, and their pineapple fried rice was sublime. It turned one day last week from “rough” to “not-so-bad.” I think we need to take advantage of that as much as possible before we are outside of the delivery range.

*Grocery shopping à duex. It was an every day task that I’ve been wondering how to complete…one mommy, two littles…since Mae entered the scene. How do you best tackle grocery shopping? One in the cart, one in the Ergo? One walking, one in the stroller? If you put the baby car seat in the shopping cart…where do you put the food?! This week, I finally managed it! It took longer…and a lot of finagling…but this mommy got it done. I’m a super hero! I can do anything! Now, hopefully I won’t have to do that again until the baby is able to sit in the cart next to her sis!

* “You’re the best Mom in all the land!” said Eloise this morning, as I frantically wrapped up this blog before Mae woke up (and just as the familiar guilty pull of the work-life balance started taking hold). Thank you so much, my beautiful, wonderful girl. I guess I’m not messing it all up (that badly) after all. That’s exactly what I needed this morning.