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My all-time favorite Colonel Brandon quote is apropos today. First, as a tribute. Oh, Alan Rickman, RIP. Second, it’s my mantra for approximately the next 8 weeks as we wait for baby. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t started feeling like a ticking time bomb once again. Counting kicks, living in constant dread that things could take an unexpected, devastating turn. Yes, the littlest sister is seemingly doing well, and her situation is drastically different than Hannah’s. And, yes, that lessens the degree of anxiety we have. However…this stretch isn’t easy. Like it or not, the next several weeks will be choked with flashbacks from our last trimester with Hannah. When it all suddenly ended so close to when it was supposed to finally begin. There is no “safe zone” for us. There will be no breathing easy until she’s here, safe and healthy, in our arms. (Even then…let’s be real. We have fears that bury those of even nervous first time parents. It’s doubtful we will ever be able to fully relax about our kids again.) So, the name of the game? Distract myself into oblivion. Lucky for me, I have a lot to do in the next several weeks. A few more really fun photo sessions before I take a short maternity leave, school activities with Eloise, beginning to plan for a move to a bigger home later this year, and, of course, getting ready for baby. My nesting instinct is in full force as I reorganize our space to make room for the littlest one. Planning for her, hoping with abandon, stretches our comfort zone. But it’s also reassuring, seeing the few little things we have been brave enough to buy for her all in the same place. It’s starting to get real, up in here!
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*Box ’em up, ship ’em out! When I get nervous, I clean. Most times, I start picking up, putting away, wiping down, and organizing without even realizing what I am doing. I don’t love clutter, and every year, I enjoy a good purge of all of our unnecessary stuff. What better excuses are there to clean, purge and organize than a baby on the way and an impending move? At least my a-retentive tendencies are being well-cared for.
*The Littlest Sister’s room. The nursery has been transformed from Ellie’s old and Hannah’s would-have-been nursery into a room specific to this baby. It has been fun filling it with little things that we think she will like. To make it HERS. It’s retail therapy at its finest.
*The healthiest Kindergartener on the block? I’m finding it hard to stay positive after yet another week when my little family has been pummeled by colds. We have battled winter colds on rotation every single week for the past several months, and I am starting to feel completely defeated. Just as soon as one of us is over the worst of our cough and congestion, another one starts with it. The thought of bringing a fragile newborn into this Petri dish we call home is enough to make me want to don rubber gloves and a face mask and constantly disinfect every surface imaginable. I’m so not a germaphobe, but I’m steadily turning into one. In the spirit of looking on the bright side (because that’s what this exercise is all about, right?)…they are just colds. Nothing serious. And, as one of my fellow Pre-K mommies said, “well, Eloise will be the healthiest Kindergartener ever, right?” One can only hope!
*Pampering. Courtesy of my awesome sister and brother-in-law, I enjoyed a relaxing morning at the spa, getting a pedicure, before I had to pick Eloise up from school the other day. It felt great to relax and do something for myself. Thanks, Becky and Adam!