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Well…it happened. After nearly four years of being extra mindful of Giraffey…Eloise’s absolute favorite, completely beat-up, constant companion…we left him at a store an hour from our house the other night. Of course, we didn’t realize this until we were already home and it was 9PM and the store was closing. Luckily, we were able to call the store, locate Giraffey, and come up with a plan for his rescue first thing the next day. We totally dodged a bullet. Thank Goodness he was just absent and not lost. Even one night of not knowing Giraffey’s whereabouts…I shutter at the thought. Even though we knew exactly where he was…holy cow…the panic! I’m happy to report that Giraffey is safe and sound, as grungy as always, and back at home where he belongs. And where he will stay much more frequently! Because although Eloise has several “backup giraffes,” and more beautiful, cuddly stuffed animals than I can count…there’s no replacement for Giraffey. He’s “her guy,” and none of us wants to spend another night without him. I’m tempted to install some sort of name tag or GPS tracking device for those occasions when he does venture out of the house. (Mostly joking. Mostly.) Welcome back, Giraffey! Of all the gold stars this week, getting him back was the brightest.

Hello! I am starting to dig out from the massive amount of boxes that surround us in our new space, and attempt to establish a routine. The move was insane…full of drama, early mornings, and very late nights…but alls well that ends well, and we are happily getting settled into our new home. I absolutely love the light and openness and relaxed feel of it.

I will say, packing up our old place and seeing it empty caused emotions to run like a river. Six years worth of memories…some joyous, a lot unthinkable…flooded us all at once. While Mike and I are excited to start a new chapter of our life in our new home, we aren’t innocent enough to believe it’s “a fresh start.” That we are “closing the door” on our past. Because we can never do that. I’d be lying to say my heart doesn’t hurt as I set up only two little girls’ rooms in the new house. When I suddenly miss Hannah so much I can’t breathe. But before we moved in, something happened…something unexpected and lovely…that brought me great comfort.

We were at the new house for the inspection (it was actually the first time I saw the place, but that is a wild and crazy story for another day!), and I was chatting with the owner about her garden. Anyone who knows me well is probably laughing right now because I have a fairly infamous black thumb and virtually no interest in yard work. That said, I had told Mike a few days earlier that, if nothing else, I wanted to plant peonies in the backyard for Hannah. (Peonies were the flowers I found while I was 22 weeks pregnant with Hannah, on the day we received good news about her health after the staggering blow of her Spina Bifida diagnosis. Here’s the detailed story: http://www.jensoares.com/blog/peonies-and-tulips/. The short story: that was the best day Hannah and I had together.)  The seller chatted to me about the stunning crab apple tree in the front that was in bloom, and, to my delight, the giant lilac bush out back, very much like the one we had in my childhood home. For the most part, I nodded with what I hoped exuded some clue as to how to take care of a yard full of plants, and glanced around in a slight daze. “Then there are the peonies…” My breath caught in my throat and my eyes filled with tears. Peonies. The flower I can’t help but associate with our amazing second daughter. They were already here. She’s already here. A part of our next step. A part of our family forever.

Sweet Hannah, you continue to surprise me. You bring me comfort when I need it the most in the most darling ways. I’ll love you forever, little one.