For the past week, Eloise has woken me up at 5:30AM. No matter how long she sleeps at naptime or what time we put her to bed at night, it’s been like clock-work. 5:30AM on the nose. Suffice it to say, we ladies have both been cranky this week. One morning, it seemed like absolutely everything I said (“That’s enough Chuggington for today.” “No, you can’t go to Little Gym in your pajamas.” How about a banana for breakfast?”) caused a flood of tears and screaming. I understood that it was because she was tired, but my patience was quick to run out. Like every parent out there, I am easily frustrated with todder-isms. I’m quick to get down about the constantly overflowing laundry hamper or sink that’s perpetually full of dirty dishes. It’s maddening to never be on my own schedule, and hard to feel so stinkin exhausted all of the time. Anyone who says they have never experienced these emotions as a parent is lying. It comes with the territory. But this week, every time I lost patience, a little voice in the back of my head whispered, “You’re so damn lucky.”
Hannah would have turned 6 months old this week. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish to God that I was sleep-deprived and covered with baby purees, struggling to balance time between my toddler, my baby, my husband and my job with all of the normal complaints of a typical mother of two. Missing out on those growing pains with Hannah makes me appreciate the ones I am living with Eloise. To see them differently.
Have I transformed into a saint-on-earth who has stopped complaining for good and will never yell at Eloise/Mike/the dog/the cosmos/an empty room ever again? Hell no. I’m human. I’m a mom. I’m a small business owner. I’ll probably lose my crap for some reason or another in the next half hour. But this realization that time is fleeting and I will one day long for these moments is like a deep breath. Hannah has given me the gift of this perspective, and I hope it sticks with me for the rest of my life.
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*Perspective. “There are people who would love to have your bad days.”
* “Donits.” I had been jonesing for a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee all week. One day, after being out and about, I told Eloise we were going to stop for one. “And some donits, too?” (Yes, she says “donits.” She spends a lot of time with my mom and her Massachusetts accent. ) How could I say no to that? So we popped inside for a few munchkins and a mother-daughter coffee talk. Fingers crossed this becomes a lasting tradition, and one day I’ll be old and gray, sitting in a Dunkin’s with an adult Eloise, chatting about her kids over coffee and “donits.”
*A Heatwave. It finally hit 30 degrees this week! WOOHOO! Eloise and I had a great time sledding at the park.
*The lollipop. For what seemed like an eternity, Eloise hated having her hair cut. I refuse to do it myself (uncooperative kid+ scissors = disaster of epic proportions to me), so I dealt with her fussing through a few initial haircuts at Pickles. Luckily, Mr. Jeremy is great at what he does. He’s friendly, fast and extremely patient. He’s won Eloise over to the extent that she was jumping up and down, so excited that it was time for a trim this week. After Ellie declared, “Mr. Jeremy is the best guy in the whole city!,” he gave her a dum-dum. It was her first lollipop and she was THRILLED. And now she thinks dum-dums are magical pieces of candy that solely exist at Pickles.
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